it must be really wild to actually have a positive relationship with your father
some people really have that????
“Okay your job is to keep the pandas in their pen.”
“And I get paid to do this.”
I like how the last one is all “Almost…almost…MOTHER FU-“
I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.
I never thought about it this way. This is beautiful.
be a pal and like people’s text posts. reblog their selfies. respond to their questions. even if you don’t know the answer and even if you’ve never really talked to them before. there’s nothing worse that feeling alone on a website where everyone promotes love and friendship.
mom i dont wanna go to school i dont feel good
i just wanna shake the hand of whoever cam up with the ALS ice bucket challenge. not only is it raising awareness of an important cause, i’ve also seen more damp celebrities in clinging t-shirts in the past week than i ever dreamed possible.
IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT
BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT